i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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