Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
