My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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