i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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