ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
