fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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