when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
