Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
