Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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