You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
