I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
