Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
