What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
