Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Randomize
