So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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