If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
