Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
