It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
