we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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