no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
