We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
