Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
