woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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