I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
