All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Randomize
