i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
