fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Barsexuality is the new black.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
