i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's never too late to be topless.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
