it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
