You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
