I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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