I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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