Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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