Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
