I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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