just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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