I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize