Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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