walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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