she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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