Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
