chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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