legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
