Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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