im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
