Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
