i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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