Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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