There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
