No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
