The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
