I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
