I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
