he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
