So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
