So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
