elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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