Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Randomize
