got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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