and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
