please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
