I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
