Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
